She was just being sensible, I thought, but the rubbers from Hollywood made me sad anyhow. Male and female fluids didn’t disgust her. “Here, I thought this would go with your green eyes.”Īunt Doris showed me a new view of the world, possible solutions to the mystery of man meets woman.īronwyn made me put on a rubber before I even kissed her, practically.Īunt Doris wasn’t terrified by the nightmarish possibility of being impregnated.
COW PORTHOLE FULL
The trunk was full of brand new plaid blankets, a pack of rubbers, a bottle of good whiskey and a heavy navy blue cashmere sweater. Plenty of both, among the pines, but she had other plans. I thought Aunt Doris wanted fresh air and rustic scenery, after Los Angeles.
COW PORTHOLE WINDOWS
But we kept trying, over and over again, in other locations, strictly indoors, with the windows shut tight, curtains drawn. First time for both of us, not terribly successful. Last time I hit the hills was with Bronwyn Evans. Get used to driving dreamboats for a change.” Out in the parking lot, both of us woozy from low-grade champagne and pre-lunch martinis, Aunt Doris handed me the keys to her convertible. Two years later, she got a Mexican divorce and half the rich man’s loot. She said she thought her dreams had suddenly come true. She thought both things, Hollywood and millionaire, would make her happy. Aunt Doris was briefly married to a Hollywood millionaire. Keep on enjoying them even when they’re gone, that’s the secret. Enjoy youth and freedom while you’ve still got them. Marriage, Aunt Doris told me over Baked Alaska, was a bum deal. The only real restaurant in town didn’t have a big champagne selection, but we drank up what they had. After that, she wanted me to take her for a ride in the wooded hills around College Town. At a real restaurant, she said, not a teenage hamburger grease-pit.
Or maybe none at all.Īunt Doris wanted to take me to lunch. I was going to have plenty of explaining to do. She walked away as though she hadn’t seen. Bronwyn Evans, my college steady date, caught me kissing my Aunt Doris. My little boy’s a handsome man.”Ĭollege guys, football players and engineering nerds alike, popped from the library, classroom buildings, Student Union and dorms to get a look at the sexy lady with the flashy car. “Wow,” she said slowly, moving her lips like this was her big glamorous close-up in a silent movie. Slight booze breath, but no cheap perfume when she raised her arms to wrap them around my neck. She hugged me a lot closer, a lot longer, kissed me on the mouth a little deeper than a real aunt would have. Suddenly I was extremely glad my Aunt Doris had come to see me. Aunt Doris was 50 pounds lighter than the last time I saw her, but none of the weight loss was from hips, keister or bosom.
COW PORTHOLE MOVIE
When she stepped out of the car, she went from Hollywood movie star to dorm room smoker babe. She parked liked she never really learned to drive. She looked like a movie star from Hollywood, which is exactly where she drove from. She had a white scarf around her hairdo, big sunglasses. I braced for first-degree embarrassment.Īunt Doris showed up at the wheel of a cherry-red custom convertible. Nobody else ever came to visit me at College.
You better believe I went to college.Ī week before graduation, I got a phone call from Aunt Doris.
COW PORTHOLE PLUS
School plus library equals college scholarships. Since home life was the way it was, I stayed in school, hit the library when school let out. Aunt Doris’ stories were on the short and dirty side, but they were the only ones I got. She smelled of booze, perfume and something else, something I liked. Sometimes she flopped on my cot and told me a story.
Aunt Doris used to come into my room to make sure I was still alive. She was one of my mother’s friends, and my mother had lots of friends. Maybe her name wasn’t really Doris, I don’t know.
COW PORTHOLE SKIN
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